Hold Your Breath -- A Demyx Fic -- Part 3
by Emi Hikari
Summary: Let's go back in time...to a time when the world was divided into colonies, and India was but a territory waiting to be conquered. Princess Jalela is forced to take charge as the unlikely candidate for ambassador to her country, but what she really wants is to know what kind of destiny her dreams are leading her toward.
1. Chapter 1: Princess

Chapter 1: Princess

Memo: Freaking dfklsagksdf I cannot believe I'm to this point… Wow… It's taken a lot of planning but I'm here, and you are now, too! Let's run in together! Wheeeeee!

"_What do you want to change_?"

Slowly, Jalela opened her deep brown eyes, still drowsy with sleep.

"Princess, it's time to get up," a soft voice said, causing Jalela to sit upright. "You don't want to be late on your special day."

"Good morning, Nita," Jalela greeted her maidservant with a stifled yawn. "I won't be late. Please don't worry so much about me."

"You make it too easy," Nita said with a small smile as Jalela slowly got out of her bed. "Come, Princess, you have to get ready for the ceremony."

"I know." Pushing her long hair out of her face, Jalela stood and obediently followed Nita out of her room.

It was the day of Jalela's official coronation as the rightful ruler of her village. Though Jalela's people were small in number, they were big-hearted and proud. Jalela respected every single one of them, and they felt the same about her. However, her people had come to greet troubling times in India. With the entrance of foreigners into the country, India's people were quite weakened in both power and spirit.

Still, Jalela knew her duties. She would do her utmost best to do what would be right for her people in the end. She was aware of her role in her country, and she had come to accept it. Now that she was eighteen, there was no avoiding her duties.

"Your steps are slower than usual, Jalela," Nita said with a crooked smile. Snapping to attention, Jalela looked at Nita, then grinned as well. Since childhood, Nita had been Jalela's maidservant, but she was more like a trusted friend to the princess. Nita was good-natured and patient, and she truly wanted what was right for Jalela.

"I think it's that your steps are faster than usual," Jalela countered, picking up her pace to keep up with Nita. "You're more excited than me about this, I think."

"How can I help myself? You will be a great ruler; I've known it since the day you were born. This is the role you were meant to play."

_Is it really_? Jalela wondered, her smile faltering despite Nita's enthusiasm.

Obviously, Jalela had been born into a royal family who had ruled the same area for generations. She was an only child; her mother had died after childbirth, meaning only she could continue the royal lineage. These were facts that needed no explanation.

However, lately Jalela had been experiencing vivid visions and dreams that told her otherwise. She would have cast the blame on nerves, but these visions had occurred before, even as a child. Only now, they had worsened. For the first time in her life, Jalela truly questioned who she was and what she was supposed to accomplish.

"Jalela?"

Nita's voice dragged Jalela out of her swirling thoughts.

"Yes, I'm fine," Jalela said quickly, shaking her head.

"I feel as though I always catch you day-dreaming," Nita laughed.

"That doesn't mean I'm always day-dreaming."

"Sometimes I wonder."

Jalela pouted as Nita laughed at her once again.

"Come along. At this rate, your ceremony will be delayed by a full day."

Nita gestured for Jalela to follow her, and the teen sighed quietly through her nose. The two continued down the corridors of the small palace until they reached the back area. A large tub for bathing had been prepared; Jalela could see the steam rising from the water.

Returning the greetings from the palace servants, Jalela removed her shoes and rings. Aided by the others, she undressed and stepped into the large tub. The water was boiling hot, but Jalela didn't dare complain. These people had worked their hardest to please her; she knew better than to even hint at being ungrateful.

Soon Jalela was submerged in water up to her shoulders. The heat felt good on her skin after a while. Taking a small breath in, Jalela ducked down beneath the surface of the water, covering her entire body.

_It's not going to work…_

At the sound of a girl's voice, Jalela popped back up out of the water, startled. Hastily, she relaxed her expression so as to not worry her servants. She knew that voice; that was the girl who had been appearing in her dreams.

"Are you almost done?" Nita asked Jalela, and the princess nodded quickly. "Don't fall back asleep in there."

"I won't, I won't," Jalela whined as Nita snickered behind her hand.

The dreams had all been the same-a faceless girl and boy, sitting on a boat. They were always fishing, and that was all. Most of the time they were silent, and the only noticeable change throughout her dream was the color of the sky.

_That was the first time I've heard her say that_, Jalela realized as her servants covered her in robes upon leaving the bath. _I wonder what she was talking about_.

To Jalela, all dreams had at least one meaning. Dreams were powerful. At one time, they were even more powerful than money. Before people started turning to money for counseling and guidance, they had turned to their dreams and visions. Jalela still did, but she knew it was a dying art. The world was changing.

Jalela silently followed Nita into the dressing room, where more servants were waiting. As Jalela dried herself off, the women went to work on dressing her in ceremonial gown, and Nita was left to comb the princess' thick, long black hair.

The one thing Jalela could ascertain from her dreams was that these two people were in India. The setting was the same; the air smelled the same. The sky seemed just as similar, too. Was it because India was all Jalela had ever known? Jalela had learned only a bit of English; her native Sanskrit dialect was what she mostly used, and it was what she heard in her dream.

"What are you thinking about?" Nita asked Jalela.

"Too much," Jalela answered, looking at Nita from the reflection in the glass mirror in front of her. "…I'm still quite a child, aren't I?"

"You are what you make yourself out to be," Nita responded, smiling at the teen. Jalela smiled back, beaming.

Just then, a knock on the door startled the women, who were putting the finishing touches on Jalela's loose gown.

"I bring news of the guests," a male servant announced in a loud voice. A female servant opened the door in response, and the young man stepped in, holding a paper.

"Is something the matter?" Jalela asked, but the male servant just smiled.

"On the contrary…a royal family from the East has come to pay their respects to you, Princess," he replied, closing his dark eyes and nodding.

"From the East?" Jalela repeated. "What a journey that must have been…"

Jalela had only once been to the eastern part of her country before, but she remembered nothing of it, since she was only a small child; it would be the first time for her to meet people from so far away. However, with the rise of foreign influence, she knew it was important to establish relationships with the other ruling families, no matter how far away. It was, though, admittedly unusual for a ruling family to travel this far for such an occasion. Jalela's village was not one of great size or power, and so she couldn't help but think of what the root of their motivation might be.

"If you wish it, Princess, I will read you the list of guests," the male servant offered.

"Please," she said, nodding and sitting back down.

As the man read the names, and as Nita braided her hair tightly, Jalela watched herself in the mirror. Her father had once said she much resembled her now-deceased mother, but Jalela could not imagine it. She could imagine herself as she was at that moment, unchanging and steady. Looking too far ahead was useless to her, yet it remained a distraction and temptation in the back of her mind at all times.


	2. Chapter 2: People and Places

Chapter 2: People and Places

Memo: Ah, I really love Jalela. Part of me admires her, but another part of me relates to her. I hope you guys like her, too?

Despite her new and official title of Princess, Jalela sat at her father's feet, obedient as ever, while listening to him speak to their visitors. Just as the servants had said, the Easterners had come to pay a visit.

Jalela was not stupid; she knew there must be a good reason for them to come all this way. It was obvious they wanted something, or someone, that they didn't have. Her gut feeling told her that she herself might be just that.

Truth be told, she didn't mind being used. It was one less step she herself had to take, one less decision she had to make. As long as it was for a good cause, she would gladly go along with the instruction of the Easterners. Jalela was just as capable as a follower as she was as a leader.

"Jalela." At the sound of her name, Jalela rose quickly. "Please escort our guests to the dining hall, then return here."

"Yes, Father," she replied, nodding once in understanding.

The guests were another royal family, but despite being from the same country and of the same monetary status, they were entirely different. Not necessarily bad, but quite different.

The small group was comprised of three people, all male and senior to Jalela. Their leader was a man around the same age as Jalela's father. He had gentle eyes and a kind smile, but his face seemed worn and hardened from stress. She knew the foreigners must be the cause.

"Thank you for your courtesy on such short notice, Princess," he said as she led them down the hall. "And congratulations. You will be a fine leader."

"Thank you, but I do wonder if that's true," she replied, smiling at the man over her shoulder. "I will do my best."

"That's really all you can do," another man said. He was younger than the king, but still older than Jalela by at least a decade. His face, too, was hardened by stress, and his natural face showed a frown.

"Princess, you hold more power than you think," the third man said. He was the oldest of the group, but only his appearance showed this to be true. Jalela had known him since childhood, and despite his obvious outward aging, his mental state was as sharp as ever. He was the advisor to the Eastern king.

"I am a woman, and still a child," Jalela told him, laughing through her nose.

"The fact that you are mature enough to accept these truths is even more proof."

"Or perhaps you are just more optimistic than I am?"

The old advisor laughed heartily, causing a smile to cross Jalela's face.

"You will indeed be a wonderful wife someday!" he exclaimed, and the other men murmured in agreement.

Jalela's face fell as she turned her back to the men once again.

_I was right, after all, then_… she thought as she turned the corner to the dining hall. The men, realizing they had reached their destination, thanked Jalela and one by one passed by her to seat themselves. Jalela, however, stood idly by, her mind wrapped in deep thought.

The people of the East who had come to visit had a son the same age as Jalela; in a few weeks he, too, would go through a ceremony for his official title as Prince. Many spoke highly of Hiranna, calling him a "last hope" for the people of India to maintain their freedom from British reign. Jalela had met him once as a child, but she did not remember him much. She did know, however, that he had yet to be given a bride.

_No, I won't assume things,_ Jalela told herself, shaking her head a bit. _After the dinner and celebrating is over, I will consult Father about this and find out the truth for myself._

She did just that; long after the guests had retired to their quarters, Jalela returned to her seat at her father's seat. For some reason, she always felt very much like a child sitting there, even in formal occasions. Normally she didn't mind, but this time, she felt tense, and she wondered if he, too, could sense it.

"Father, there's something I want to ask you," she began, looking up into her father's dark, sparkling eyes.

"What is it?" he asked, his voice gentle. His tone almost made Jalela feel guilty for asking him, but this was her life, too. She wanted to know, and she felt that she had the right to know.

"What is the real reason the Easterners have visited us?"

"To congratulate you, and to celebrate with you, of course."

"And you claim there are no other reasons?" The smile slowly faded from her father's face. "As I thought. Father, please be honest with me. What are their true intentions?"

"Precious Jalela…" Her father put a hand on her head gently. He had meant to be endearing, but to Jalela, it felt as though he were restraining her. "They have asked that you will offer your hand in marriage to their young prince, Hiranna."

"And your intention is to agree?"

"…"

"I can tell by your silence that it is," Jalela said with a sigh.

"Jalela, please try to understand. This is not just about your personal life. This also involves the state of your country. Working together will make us stronger against the foreigners."

"I understand that fully." Gently brushing her father's hand aside, Jalela slowly rose to her feet, looking down at her father in his seat. For the first time in her life, he looked small and fragile. "And I agree that working together is the best choice. However, the thing that bothers me is that no one consulted me for _my _opinion. I know that I am a woman, and still young, but I am also a human being, and as of today, a leader. Therefore, I expect to be treated as such, especially by my own father."

Before turning to leave, Jalela gave her father one last look-over. He seemed genuinely sorry, and also somewhat sad, but even if those were his true feelings, she knew she could not change his mind about her marriage. With this in mind, she left for her room, where Nita was waiting as usual.

"I don't know why it bothers me as much as it does," she admitted as Nita combed out her hair once again. "Just…something feels as though it's missing."

"Have you given thought to what that might be?" Nita asked, looking at Jalela's face in the reflection of the mirror. Jalela stared back, frowning.

"I have, but I haven't found an answer. I'm not sure where else to look."

"Well, you don't know love yet. Perhaps that's what is missing."

"How would you know if I've fallen in love yet or not?"

"Because I know everything about you," Nita replied with a wink. Jalela couldn't help but respond with a toothy grin.

"I think that, if I really must marry Hiranna, you should come with me," Jalela added.

"If I am allowed to, I most certainly will."

"Who would forbid it?"

"There is always the possibility."

Jalela's face fell as doubt clouded Nita's expression.

"That's enough talk of such uncertainty for one evening, I believe," Nita told the princess, setting down the comb. "You should go to bed, Princess."

"I suppose…"

Smiling at Nita, Jalela wished her good night and retired to her bed. She was more tired than she realized, and as soon as she got comfortable, she fell asleep.

_ "I think…it's my turn to ask you a tough question." _

_ "Oh? And that would be?" _

_ "Do you love me?"_

_ The sound of thunder, the sensation of being tossed in the waves… There is no escape… No matter how hard I struggle, there is no escape… This is the end…_

Jalela awoke with a start, cold sweat beading on her dark forehead. It was light out, but when she closed her eyes again, she saw dark, swirling clouds and navy waves; she could not escape the sensation of being dragged under the tide. Again, she opened her eyes, and this time she sat upright.

"A dream…?" she whispered, looking around her room. Nothing had noticeably changed. It was indeed a dream, but it wasn't just a dream. It was too real to be _just_ a dream.

Swallowing hard, Jalela wiped her forehead with the back of her hand. The couple from her recent dreams had begun to talk more at last. But why them? And why these things? Why were they in such a storm? What did it mean? Jalela knew it was not without meaning, but she did not know where to begin her search for truth.

"Good morn-Princess?" Nita's greeting was cut short upon seeing Jalela's distressed face. "Are you all right? What's the matter? You look frightened."

"I'm all right, Nita," Jalela said quietly as Nita rushed over. "I just had a very disturbing dream, that's all."

"A dream, you say?"

"Yes. The people in my dream from last night… I've seen them a lot recently, but this time, they spoke more than usual, and it seems they were caught in a storm."

As Jalela explained the details of the dream, she watched Nita's expression grow cloudy.

"It does sound a bit odd, doesn't it?" Jalela admitted at last.

"…Princess, your dream may have a meaning beyond our own ability to understand," Nita replied, shaking her head slowly.

"Do you mean-?"

"Tonight, when your councils have ended, I will be here waiting for you. I know of someone who might be able to help you."

"I…I understand. Thank you, Nita."


	3. Chapter 3: Dream Reader

Chapter 3: Dream Reader

Memo: I wanted to type Dream Eater but NO THIS IS NOT DREAM DROP DISTANCE SIT DOWN EMI c: Anyway, I hope you enjoy it! ^^

Jalela knew that she could trust Nita; never before had she told a lie to the princess, and there was no reason to start now. And so, as the sun sank into the western sky, Jalela returned to her room. Nita was standing in front of the mirror, looking at herself.

"Welcome back," she greeted the princess, who smiled in relief.

"You really are the most loyal person I've ever met," Jalela told her.

"I wonder if that's really true…"

"Nita…?"

Slowly the servant shook her head, closing her dark eyes.

"Come, we should get going." Though Nita had not come out and said exactly where they were going, Jalela knew already what she had in mind.

In the outskirts of the village there lived a young shaman, and despite her age, she was deemed to be very powerful. Some had argued that she was dangerous, and with no living parents or guardians to defend her, she was driven into secrecy. Many believed she had left the village for good, or had perhaps killed herself, but there were a few who still knew of her location. Nita was one of them, and she had confided in Jalela about it before.

"I'll cover myself with this," Jalela said, bringing out a long shawl she only wore in terrible weather. "It's best that no one recognizes me, I think."

"I agree," Nita said with a small nod. "The night sky will help hide you as well."

With these words, Nita left Jalela's room, and Jalela followed her without a word. Quietly, the two of them snuck out of the palace with ease, and soon they were walking through the village.

It was a quiet night, and though perhaps to another girl her age it was dangerous, Jalela felt quite at peace. In fact, she much preferred her village during its quietest moments. She felt closer to her people than ever at those times. It was almost like she was not a princess at all.

Suddenly, before Nita or Jalela could see him coming, a small child ran into the pair. He clumsily fell on his face, and Jalela's instinct made her cry out.

"A-are you all right?" she asked him, kneeling down to his level. She tried to hide her voice as much as possible. "Please be more careful."

"…?" Quietly, the boy looked up at Jalela, and for a moment she feared he might ask who she was, but then his face dropped and he nodded. "…I'm sorry…"

"It's all right," she told him, putting a hand on his head gently. Somehow, that gesture felt familiar to her. "Go home to your parents, or they'll worry."

"Yes, miss." Getting to his feet, the boy bowed a little and ran off. Jalela wondered if he had known who she was. The way he had looked at her-it was as though he thought he knew her.

The rest of the walk to the shaman's hideout was without incident. Everyone seemed to be settling in for the night, which only strengthened Jalela's love for her people. For a moment she remembered the foreigners, and her heart burned with anger. Why was this happening to _her_ people, to the people _she_ loved?

"It's this way, Pri-" Nita stopped herself, her voice dropping off.

"I understand," Jalela said with a nod.

With only the moon to light their path, the two women snuck down the side of a small cliff. Carved into the side was a small cave; Jalela had never known it was there. It wasn't easily visible from any angle, so there was no way she could have found it on her own. From the mouth of the cave, Jalela could see light deeper in.

_I can't believe someone was driven to live in a place like this_, Jalela thought as Nita led her further in. _Especially someone so young_.

The two women were soon greeted by the sight of what appeared to be a small, make-shift living area. In the center was a campfire, and kneeling next to it was a person, whose face was shrouded in a hood.

"Nita?" the persona murmured, lifting her head. She sounded young, around Jalela's age. "You and the princess did come after all, then…"

"You knew we would come?" Jalela asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Of course." The girl rose to her feet, removing her hood. Her dark hair was messy and hung in dirty strands around her face, and her cheeks were covered in scars that looked like animal scratches. "My name is Pramiti. Congratulations, Princess. You will be a wonderful leader."

"I-Um, thank you," Jalela said, bowing a bit. It felt odd, talking to Pramiti. She seemed oddly familiar, but she was sure they'd never met before.

"You are troubled, Princess."

"H-how did you know!?"

Pramiti laughed; it was like the tinkling of bells. "Anyone with eyes can see that. But please, enough of pointless chatter. I won't keep you any longer than necessary." The shaman gestured next to the fire. "Please, sit and make yourself comfortable."

"Thank you," Jalela murmured, sitting down. Nita knelt beside her, a silent but strong fortress. "Pramiti… Lately, my dreams…"

"Dreams are quite special things, aren't they?" Pramiti interrupted, sitting down across from Jalela. Her face was barely visible through the flames. "In dreams, anything can happen. Many people see what they want to see, and other people see exactly the opposite. A select few can see everything, and even fewer can see outside of their own dreams and into another's."

"I would assume you are one of those people?" Jalela stated.

"It's dangerous to assume, Princess. But yes, you are correct." Pramiti smiled, but it seemed more from bitterness than joy. "I was born with this cursed gift. However, I will make use of it, especially for your sake, Princess."

"Thank you again." Jalela paused, waiting to see if Pramiti would say something further. "What…must I do for you to be able to help me?"

"Simply speak," Pramiti replied, her smile turning into a real one.

Pausing once again, Jalela glanced at Nita, then looked back at the shaman. Was this really safe? Jalela trusted Nita, and she didn't distrust Pramiti, but shamanism was considered by a growing minority to be a dangerous art. If something were to happen…

"You can trust that I will keep whatever you may say in full confidentiality," Pramiti added, her face serious. "Especially for you, Princess-I swear it upon my life."

Taking a deep breath, Jalela nodded, then began to speak.

"In my dreams… Well, it started out with just this: there was a boy and a girl, and they were sitting in a small boat. Like a fishing boat. They were fishing, and they rarely spoke at all. The only thing that really changed in those dreams was the sky. The color of the sky would change drastically-from red to purple to grey. This dream… I had it for several weeks.

"Then, recently, the two started speaking more. They asked many questions, and when answering each other, they were often ambiguous with their replies. And then, last night, I dreamt of the same two people, but this time, their boat was caught in a storm, and I can only assume they were tossed into the sea.

"The circumstances of the dream are odd enough, but also, I must admit there's a sense of familiarity about it all that bothers me greatly," Jalela concluded. "Granted, the scene has always taken place in India, and their dialogue in my mother tongue, but that's not what makes it familiar."

Falling silent at last, Jalela watched Pramiti closely. The young shaman's eyes were closed, and she was completely silent. Only the crackle of the flames made noise.

Suddenly, surprising both Nita and Jalela, the flames rose and burst into even greater life, then shrunk down to almost nothing. In its place, a great plume of smoke arose, and Pramiti finally spoke.

"You do not worry for nothing, Princess," she said in a calm, quiet voice. "Great turmoil awaits many people in this world, and our country is in especially great danger. However, do not cast the blame for your recent dreams on the entrance of the foreigners. No, this is something you must face, even if you were not born of a royal family.

"Princess, you have a future beyond this life; you are one of many who does. It will not be clear to you for a while, but the future that awaits you is familiar. It is something you have already seen. And it is something you will continue to see in the years that pass.

"Everyone is born with a goal, Jalela-we each must discover what that is, and we must learn how to become the right person to achieve that goal. Your goal will soon be within your reach, but you will not be able to achieve it just as soon. However, do not be intimidated, for you have already seen a glimpse of what is to come."

Finally pausing, Pramiti opened her eyes and looked directly at Jalela. Her face was barely visible in the dim light of the dying fire, but there was a small smile on her face.

"I trust that you will think on these words, Princess Jalela," Pramiti added. "Though it may seem intangible now, happiness awaits you."

"Happiness?" Jalela repeated, in complete disbelief.

"Yes, happiness."

Without making a sound, Pramiti rose to her feet, and Jalela quickly did the same.

"Please, feel free to return if you have further questions or concerns," Pramiti offered. "I promise that next time, I will be prepared to be much more hospitable."

Jalela nodded, unsure of what to say. Thanking the shaman once again, both Jalela and Nita slowly left the cave, walking back out into the night.

"I don't understand at all," Jalela admitted to Nita in a whisper. "I feel as though I am more confused than when I began."

"Remember what Pramiti said," Nita reminded the princess. "Think on her words. You may not understand it now, but in the end you may come to realize something new."

"Perhaps, but for now, I'm just exhausted."

"I understand. Let's return."


	4. Chapter 4: To the East

Chapter 4: To the East

Memo: HMM. I WONDER WHAT WILL HAPPEN IN THIS CHAPTER. LOL all jokes aside, I'm excited for Jalela to make her move. No pun intended. ANYWAY IT GON' BE A GOOD TIME, YO. At least I hope so. I think so. ^^;

Pramiti's words stayed strong with Jalela for several weeks after their encounter. Jalela often meditated on them, but still, she could draw no new conclusions. In addition, her dreams worsened and became more vivid. Yet the most important details seemed to be just out of reach, just blurry enough that she could not understand.

As she had suspected, her father soon revealed to her plans for her to move east to marry Hiranna. Jalela did not protest, despite every fiber in her body being against it. She knew why she had to go; it wasn't for her sake, but for the sake of her people. Had it not been, she would have fought tooth and nail to remain in her father's palace.

The happiness that Pramiti had spoken of seemed less tangible than ever. But as time passed, and as the day of her departure drew closer, she felt as though she had no time to worry about her own happiness. She had many other people to care for, many other people relying on her.

Still, just two days before her journey to the East, Jalela approached Nita in private.

"Nita, I have a favor to ask of you," Jalela murmured, keeping her eyes and voice low. "Tomorrow night…I…"

"You want to see Pramiti again," Nita concluded. Jalela lifted her gaze, surprised. "Don't give me such a shocked look. You act as if I don't know you well."

A smile appeared on Jalela's face, and Nita's face mirrored it.

That night, Jalela did not sleep well. Her dreams were as vivid as ever.

_ "Don't give up!" the young man shouted, holding the girl closely._

_ "What do we do?" she asked him, but he did not reply. "What do we do!?"_

_ The boy's reply was wordless, but the expression of hopelessness was written across his face. He held the girl against him tighter still as she began to cry. _

_ "Don't let go of me, all right?" he told her. "I'm going to try to swim. We'll be all right."_

_ "No, we won't," the girl replied, sobbing. "No, we won't."_

_ The pair stared each other down for a moment. They were tired. They had all but given up. What other choice was there? _

_ "…I'll be damned if I lose you like this," the young man said through gritted teeth, and he began to swim, to fight against the waves. "I'll be damned!"_

_ "I want to see my brother… I want to see Jimmy, and Mum and Pop. I want to see Sara."_

_ The girl's mouth was not moving, but Jalela could hear her voice as clear as day. Were these the girl's thoughts? Why did they seem so familiar?_

Jalela awoke with tears in her eyes. Slowly she sat upright, looking around her room. She had grown up here, but today was the last day she would spend here. Though this was her entrance into adulthood, she still felt like quite a child.

Wiping her eyes, Jalela got out of bed and went over to her vanity. For a brief moment, she closed her eyes, and she saw the face of the drowning girl clearly once again. But when she opened her eyes, the image of her face was still there. It took Jalela a moment to realize she was staring at her own reflection.

"…?"

Confused, Jalela put a hand to her cheek, and she stared at her reflection. She was the same as always, though looking more tired than usual. Yet as she gazed into her own eyes, she realized the similarity they bore to the drowning girl's eyes.

_Then we must be connected-I'm sure of it now,_ Jalela realized, sighing through her nose. _I must ask Pramiti tonight about it_…

Jalela's last day at home was spent packing and preparing for her move; by the time nightfall came around, she was exhausted. Still, she was determined to get more answers from the shaman, and so she followed Nita out into the night once again.

"Have I mentioned how grateful I am that you're coming with me?" Jalela said as the pair neared the cave's entrance.

"More than needed, Princess," Nita replied, a small smile appearing on her face. "I'm grateful, too. Life without you in it would be quite uneventful."

"Is that a compliment?"

"Take that as you will."

Chuckling, Nita dashed out of the way of Jalela's grip and entered the cave. The princess followed behind, pouting a bit. Her face soon grew serious again as Pramiti came into view.

"I hope you've been well, Princess," the shaman said, looking up at Jalela.

"That's a very relative term to use, isn't it?"

Jalela watched Pramiti as a small smile appeared across her scarred face. She couldn't help but think of the shaman as odd. Any normal person would have been intimidated by Jalela's presence. Though Pramiti called her "princess," her tone was more like that of an old friend rather than a lower class citizen driven to near banishment. Jalela didn't mind, though; it felt natural.

"It's the same dream," Jalela continued, kneeling across from Pramiti. Once again, the shaman's face was hidden by the flames. "But it's getting worse…and yet, clearer. There are still many things I do not understand, though."

"What have you learned since we last spoke?" Pramiti asked, still smiling.

"Well… Both the girl and the boy's faces are clearer. They are not Indian like us-they are white. They both have started to talk more, with less questions. I feel as though I'm hearing their last words when I dream of them. Also, I learned the names of two people: Jimmy and Sara. And though I know no one with either of those names, they sound familiar; in fact, the girl bears some resemblance to me, despite not being of the same race."

Suddenly, Pramiti let out a quiet laugh. Jalela fell silent in result, and Pramiti's giggle only grew louder.

"I must admit, Princess, you really are an interesting person," the shaman laughed. "Much more than I expected."

_Look who's talking_, Jalela thought, her face falling.

"Does this mean you know something I don't?" Jalela then asked. Pramiti's grin fell a bit.

"I wouldn't say it like that," she replied.

"So you DO know-"

"Please, Princess." Pramiti held a hand up to silence her, and Jalela fell silent in surprise. Only her father had ever addressed her like that; it felt odd to be ordered around by someone socially lesser than her. "You have every capability of figuring out the truth of your dreams on your own. It would do you absolutely no good for me to just tell you the answers. You would learn nothing."

"What do I have to learn!?" Jalela shouted, standing up in a rush of anger and frustration. "Why can't you just tell me? Can't you see how troubled I already am by all of this!?"

"I am not blind, Princess," Pramiti replied, also standing. She stood eye to eye with Jalela, her gaze unwavering and calm. "I am more than aware of your struggles. But that does not give me an excuse to tell you the answers. I refuse to support apathy."

Jalela's blood boiled at that last word. _Apathy_.

"What makes you think you have the right to speak to me like this?!" Jalela barked, her anger rising. "You little _wanker_!"

The word caught on Jalela's lips and tumbled out before she could stop herself. She had no idea herself what it meant, but it felt good to say it. But though she had intended for it to be an insult, Pramiti only laughed again. A grin plastered onto her mangled face, she walked over to Jalela and took her hands, gently swinging them back and forth.

"I know you have to leave soon," the shaman said, her voice still calm. "But you'll be back. And we'll meet again. This I can assure you."

"…Who are you really?" Jalela asked quietly. Pramiti only shook her head.

"Telling you would be a waste of my breath."

Without another word, Pramiti released Jalela's hands and retired to her spot by the fire. Jalela stared at her, confused as ever. Who was she?

_And who am I_?

"Goodbye, Princess. Until we meet again."

In a rush of emotion, Jalela pursed her lips, then whirled around. Without any parting words, she marched out of the cave and into the night air. Her head felt heavy with confusion. She could barely sense Nita's presence beside her.

"I needed answers," Jalela whispered, holding back tears. "She was the only one who could give them to me. Now what do I do…?"

"Princess…"

Nita put a hand on Jalela's shoulder, but she shrugged it off.

"If she won't help me, I'll figure it out on my own. I won't give this up, Nita."

"I understand."

Taking a deep breath, Jalela tilted her face to the night sky. It all felt so familiar, almost to the point that it was painful. She could feel tears pushing behind her eyes.

"Let's return, Princess," Nita said quietly. "You need your rest for tomorrow."

"Yes… You're right."

_I must not forget who I am,_ Jalela decided, lowering her gaze to Nita's. _I am a princess, and I have many duties I must fulfill. Despite how important this is to me, it is not and should not be the priority. I must remember my people. I must remember that they are suffering ten-fold compared to me._

"Nita…thank you."

Nita smiled, taking Jalela's hand gently in hers.

"You needn't thank me one bit. I will do anything to help you, Jalela."

With these words, the two escaped back into the night and returned to the palace for the last time. The next morning, along with the caravan from the East, they departed from their homeland, never to return in that lifetime.


	5. Chapter 5: This is the Start

Chapter 5: This is the Start

Memo: Can you believe that this story will wrap up soon? It's hard to think of, isn't it? Especially since we haven't met a few people yet. ;D But don't worry-this chapter is full of meet and greets LOL 3

It took the caravan several days to reach the Eastern shore, and when they finally did, Jalela was greeted by troubling sights. There were easily as many foreigners as there were natives, and there was also a very obvious class difference. It disturbed Jalela greatly, and she soon grew to be wrapped up in her thoughts.

_I hadn't expected it to be this bad_, she thought as she scanned the area through the small window in her wagon. _What's happening to my country? To my people…?_

Eventually Jalela made herself turn away from the window, sickened by her worry. It was already troubling enough that she was having such disturbing dreams and visions. She felt even worse that her people-the same people she had promised to protect-were suffering so openly even in a wealthier area of the country. What would become of her home village? She didn't dare try to imagine.

Before long, Jalela and the others arrived at the palace; it was far more spectacular than her home, but nothing could ever replace the childhood days she had spent running around the halls of her parents' domain. There were also white men at this place, and Jalela's heart sank as she stepped out of the wagon, aided by Nita.

"I'm here for you, Princess," Nita said quietly in their Sanskrit dialect, "no matter what happens."

"Thank you, Nita," Jalela replied in a murmur. She then straightened herself up and walked over to the old king, who smiled at her.

"Welcome to Calcutta, my dear Princess," he said. "My servants will be out shortly to escort you and Nita to your respective quarters."

"Nita will stay with me," a female voice said. Jalela turned to see the wife of the old king standing there. She was smiling brightly, displaying two beautifully white rows of teeth, and despite the obvious signs of aging on her face, she seemed youthful in spirit. "Princess Jalela… I really can't believe how you've grown. Do you remember much?"

"Only you, to be honest," the princess replied, grinning. The queen laughed, showing more of her teeth. Her light-hearted nature made Jalela feel a bit more at ease.

"We've waited a while for your return."

"I've waited a while as well. I hope the gods have smiled down on you in these long years."

"Now that you have finally come to take your rightful seat, _everyone_ will be smiling again, Princess. We welcome you back with all of our hearts."

Jalela bowed a little, but the queen bowed even more deeply.

"You must be exhausted. Come, I will show you to your rooms, and tonight we will have a feast. Princess, we know you have had a long journey, but we would be honored if you would perform a dance for us tonight as well."

"Of course," Jalela replied, managing a smile despite her exhaustion.

Jalela and Nita followed the queen without protest into the gates of the palace. Several guards stood by, some Indian and some white. The white men did not seem to be protecting the palace's interior, though. They seemed to be there to show a message to the outsiders looking in.

_It's to show they're in control_, Jalela realized, staring down a few of the men. They stood motionless, not even glancing in her direction. _They're monsters_.

As Jalela followed the queen further into the palace, she noted the number of guards had not lessened. Again, many of them were natives, but there were several white men walking around. She even saw a pair of white women walking with an Indian woman.

_I have nothing against the appreciation of each other's cultures,_ Jalela thought, watching them hurry on. _But this has gone beyond that. They are controlling us, and we are letting them_.

"Ah, Princess, I hope you do not mind a slight detour," the queen said suddenly, and Jalela raised an eyebrow in curiosity. "I had forgotten that I promised the prince I would tell him when you arrived."

"Oh…I see," Jalela replied, unsure of how to react. The queen was surely speaking of Hiranna, her future husband. Though she had nothing against him personally, Jalela wasn't ready to deal with him just yet.

"He should be in his study. If not, I will simply tell him he missed his chance."

The queen laughed in a good-hearted way, and her attitude again made Jalela feel relieved. At least she would gain a loving family member upon marrying Hiranna.

The three women soon reached the study, and two Indian guards led Jalela to believe that Hiranna was indeed inside. She did not feel nervous; in fact, she barely felt any emotion. The guards opened the doors for them, and the queen led Jalela and Nita inside.

Hiranna was not the only one in the room. Several Indian servants were standing nearby, placed almost strategically throughout the room. Hiranna himself was easy to spot; he was sitting at a desk, looking over a book with his chin in his hand. He much resembled his father, so even Jalela, who had not seen him in many years, could recognize him. When the women entered the room, his head popped up, and his face brightened considerably. He was not an unattractive man by any means, but Jalela did not feel moved by his presence.

"You've finally arrived!" he exclaimed, standing quickly and closing the book he was reading. "Welcome, both of you." Walking up to Jalela, Hiranna's grin broadened. He stood over a head taller than Jalela. "It's been a long time, Princess."

"Yes, it has," Jalela agreed, nodding. "I hope you have been well?"

"'Well' isn't the word I would choose, but that's life, I guess." Hiranna's grin turned a little crooked with his sarcasm. "Regardless, I'm grateful for your decision to move here. I know it must not have been easy." Hiranna's face fell. "I know this isn't your home, but I promise that we will do our best to make it like one for you. For both of you."

"Thank you," Jalela said quietly, bowing. It felt odd to be so submissive to him, but she knew that was what people were expecting of her.

"I'll let you get ready for dinner, but before you go, I want you to meet a couple of people."

Hiranna turned and motioned to one of the servants, who was sitting on a stool reading a book. He immediately stood as Hiranna approached him.

"This is my head servant, Ekambar," Hiranna said, and Ekambar bowed low. "Also, the tall, gangly one over there is Mahin, another of my close servants. From now on, they will also be under your hand, Princess."

"Figuratively, of course," Mahin said, smirking at Hiranna. He was indeed tall, but for a young man of his age, he was quite well-built, especially compared to Ekambar, who looked quite meek.

"If you don't learn to hold your tongue, it will be literally," Hiranna threatened, but Jalela could tell it was all in jest. They could have easily been brothers; they were, at the least, very good friends.

"Princess, just let us know if you ever need anything," Ekambar jumped in, smiling brightly. Jalela nodded, bowing a bit.

"Thank you," she said, smiling in return. She opened her mouth to ask a question, but suddenly the door burst open and interrupted the conversation.

"Prince Hiranna, the dining halls have been cleared," a man said in English, and Jalela turned to see a tall, blonde white man standing in the doorway. He was dressed in very fancy clothing, to the point that he looked quite ridiculous. "We expect an audience with you before the feast in exchange, as we discussed earlier."

The man then noticed Jalela, and a smile crossed his lips.

"Ah, you must be Princess Jalela," he said, still speaking in English. Jalela could barely understand him, but she recognized her name, and she stepped forward. He was as tall as Hiranna. "My name is Captain Jonathon K. Rould. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"…" Jalela bowed her head, but she could not respond. Besides having no confidence in her English, she had no real respect for this man.

"There's no need to be shy or afraid of me. We'll be getting to know each other soon enough. If it makes it easier for you, just call me Captain Rould." Captain Rould straightened up, adjust his jacket. "If you need anything, feel free to call upon me or any of my men." He gestured back to the four men who had followed him in; all four were white, but only one in particular caught Jalela's attention.

The man was also dressed in fancy clothes, though significantly less outrageous than Captain Rould's get-up. He was tall, too, as it seemed all of the white men were, but there was something about his stature that made him somewhat less intimidating. Perhaps it was his age; he did not appear to be much older than Jalela herself. Or maybe it was his light blonde hair; it framed his young face in short wisps. He seemed to have an aura about him, one that made him stand out from his fellow soldiers as calm, arguably even to the point of being uninterested.

He seemed to also take notice of Jalela, and he stared her down for a moment. Jalela looked away first; no matter how intriguing he seemed, he was the enemy. She had a duty to her people, and he was one of many standing in the way.

"Well, then…" Captain Rould bowed a bit to Hiranna, then to Jalela and the queen, and then he left the room, his guards following him out.

"That man was quite peculiar," Nita said when the scene had settled down.

"He's certainly one of a kind," the queen replied with a low chuckle. "Now, come along, ladies. At this rate, you'll never make it to your rooms before dinner."

Jalela and Nita followed the queen out of the study and down the halls of the palace. Though her presence brought about many curious glances and stares, the gaze of the white soldier was imprinted in Jalela's mind, and she could not seem to shake the feeling of familiarity.


	6. Chapter 6: A Book and Its Cover

Chapter 6: A Book and Its Cover

Memo: *dances* So excited for this Ahahaha actually this part reminds me a little of the second Ace Ventura movie? Only not so provocative. LOL anyway, enjoy!

The next morning, Jalela felt a little disconcerted upon awakening. Not only were her dreams still bothering her, but she had woken up to brand new surroundings, and it had startled her. But this was reality for her now, as hard as it was to swallow.

Nita did not come to greet her as she used to, so Jalela climbed out of her new and walked over to her vanity. She half-expected to see the face of the girl from her dreams, but her own face stared back. Or was it? She could barely recognize herself, especially with the dark circles under her eyes. That wasn't normal.

_I had better find Nita, _Jalela decided, tearing herself away from her reflection. _I'm a mess without her, admittedly_.

Wrapping herself up in a robe, Jalela opened her bedroom door and stepped out into the hall. As soon as she shut her door behind her, she began to walk, but once she came to a crossroad, she regretted having left her bed.

_I don't remember which way her room was from here_, Jalela realized. Looking down each of the halls, she sighed in frustration. _I guess I can just ask someone, the next person I see_.

"Well, look what we have here."

Startled by the sound of a male voice, Jalela whirled, half expecting the king or Hiranna to be standing there. But it was neither; despite the voice having spoken in Hindi, he was not Indian. To her shock, it was the young soldier she had seen with Rould the day previous.

"Who do you think you are?" she spat out in Hindi, folding her arms across her chest. "Don't you have any respect? Sneaking up on me like that…"

"My apologies, Princess," the young man said, smirking. "But we were charged to help you in any way necessary, and that is simply what I'm trying to do."

"…" Jalela stared the foreigner down, and for a moment, she found herself lost in his eyes. She had never seen eyes like his before-the color of a calm sea. Very different than her own eyes, or the eyes of her people. "…I'm looking for Nita."

The soldier chuckled, then said, "Can't do anything without your right-hand woman? You really are quite a princess."

Jalela clenched her teeth, practically growling.

"At least I'm not some ugly foreigner," she found herself saying.

"Aren't you a foreigner here, too?"

"No, I'm Indian!"

"But you're from the West, aren't you? Doesn't that make you different?"

Jalela resisted the urge to stomp her foot in protest; instead she clicked her tongue in disgust and disagreement. Naturally and simply, she slipped into her Sanskrit dialogue.

"At least I belong here," she grumbled.

"Is that what they told you?" the soldier asked in the same dialect.

Stunned, Jalela took a step back from the white man, who smirked again.

"How-?" The soldier ran a hand through his hair, then crossed his arms.

"Princess, you can't assume that just because I'm English I don't care about your country's culture, or its people," he responded, lifting his nose in the air as if to mock her. "Don't lump me in with the others in my company."

"…" Jalela did not know how to respond to this. A foreigner…on her side? Why? Not that she was going to complain, but why? What was in it for him? How could he possibly have any motivation…?

As she stared at him further, Jalela recalled the previous night at the feast. This same young man had watched her very carefully the entire time…particularly during the dance. She hadn't been bothered by it, for some reason; had it been someone else, would she have reacted in the same way?

"Who are you?" she asked him, speaking again in her dialect. "What's your name?"

"My name is Timothy." He blinked slowly, his gaze intent. "I was brought here to be a translator for Captain Rould and several other Englishmen. As I said before, do not lump me in with the others."

"Are you saying you believe India deserves her sovereignty?"

"I believe that England and India should be equals."

Jalela gasped quietly, her eyes widening. Was he serious..?

"I apologize for startling you earlier, but I stand by what I said," Timothy continued. "Your needs fall within my duties, Princess, so if you need something please say it now, or I will carry on."

"Why India?" she asked him, her curiosity piqued. She could care less about his duties to her; those could wait. "Why did you learn my dialect, of all things?"

"It interested me." Timothy shrugged, smiling a bit. "I particularly appreciate Indian music, as well. Your dance last night was wonderful."

"I-I, um, thank you." Jalela felt her ears grow hot in embarrassment. "I'm quite surprised you can appreciate such things. Why?"

"I don't really know how I got interested," he answered, shrugging again. "I suppose I… I felt it would come in handy one day, I think. It seemed quite natural to soak it all in, actually."

"I see…" Jalela paused, looking back up at Timothy.

_He seems somewhat familiar, now that I look at him up close_, she realized. _And his mannerisms…they remind me of someone, but I can't place who…_

Timothy sighed quietly through his nose.

"Now, I will ask you again, Princess-"

"Please, I…" Jalela stopped herself, trying not to pry. Her curiosity had almost gotten the better of her. No matter how interesting he might be, she had to remember her place, and his as well. "I…am looking for Nita's quarters, as I stated earlier. Do you know where-"

"Princess Jalela!"

Both Jalela and Timothy turned to see Ekambar hurrying down the hall toward them, looking desperate and frantic.

"I had best be on my way," Timothy told Jalela, his face strangely serious. It seemed as though he was hiding his true thoughts under a mask.

_Don't go yet_, Jalela wanted to say, but she stayed silent as Timothy bowed, then turned his back to her. As he began to walk away, a wave of sadness overwhelmed Jalela, and she had to literally shake her head to shake the feeling away. Ekambar reached her side, panting.

"S-sorry, Princess," he breathed, stammering. "I'm not very good at this, I guess."

"It's quite all right," Jalela told him, clearing her throat. "Could you help me, though? I wanted to find Nita, but I've forgotten where her room is."

"Ah, yes, of course!" Ekambar straightened up, his young face brightening. "Right this way, Princess!"

With practically a bounce in step, Ekambar turned on his heel and led Jalela down the hallway.

"By the way, Princess, was that man bothering you earlier?" the young servant inquired, to which Jalela shook her head in response.

"No, he actually prevented me from getting myself lost," Jalela admitted, a small smile crossing her lips. "I should probably thank him the next time I see him."

The princess fell silent, thinking back to Timothy. That gaze he had held with her…it seemed almost endearing…almost longing. She couldn't place why she felt that way and had absolutely no evidence but her own intuition, and yet she couldn't escape the thought.

As promised, Ekambar led Jalela to Nita's room, then left, his face bright as usual. He had only asked one question about Timothy, thankfully; had he said more, Jalela would have felt uncomfortable.

_Why_? she wondered as Nita brushed her long hair. _It wasn't such a big deal. I'm getting worked up over nothing_.

"Nita, did you know there's a white man who speaks our dialect?" she asked the maidservant, speaking in said dialect. "In this palace, I mean?"

"Where did you hear that from?" Nita replied, incredulous.

"From the man himself. I was going to come find you this morning, but I ran into him instead. He speaks perfect Hindi and seems to have a good grasp on our dialect. Don't you think that's odd?"

"Well, I'm not sure." Nita pursed her lips; Jalela could see her troubled expression in the mirror's reflection. "Perhaps the white men know more than we think."

"Maybe…" Still, Jalela couldn't help but think this was a special case, especially judging by the way Timothy spoke of his comrades. She told this to Nita, who only hummed a low note in reply. "Well, _you're_ no help."

"How am I supposed to help?" Nita asked, grinning a bit. "You're the one who's all wrapped up in this. I really could care less."

"You should care because _I_ care," Jalela teased her, returning the smile.

"Oh come now. Somebody has to be the level-headed one here. You're too curious for your own good. Stay out of trouble."

Jalela wasn't sure what Nita meant by this statement. Sometimes Nita could see things about Jalela that she couldn't see about herself; she assumed this was one of those times.

After getting dressed and ready for her various duties and councils, Jalela was greeted by Mihan, who led her to Hiranna's special conference room. As they walked, Mihan briefly explained the general layout of the place. Jalela listened half-heartedly, her mind still absorbed in the morning's conversation.

_Timothy learned Hindi to such fluency, and also my dialect-I can't help thinking this isn't just coincidence_, she thought as Mihan rambled on. _I can't stop thinking about it, about him. …Something must be missing. I'm missing some detail-_

"Princess?"

Snapping back to reality, Jalela nodded at Mihan, who smirked broadly.

"I can tell you weren't listening," he told her boldly. Jalela said nothing; despite his sharp tongue, she would have felt out of place speaking harshly to a servant she had only met. "Still thinking of your morning adventures?"

"Excuse me?" Jalela breathed, raising an eyebrow.

"Ekambar told me about your run-in with the translator this morning," Mihan continued. "I hope he wasn't too rude."

"Not any ruder than you," Jalela responded, grinning crookedly. The comment slipped out before she could stop herself, but Mihan seemed to react well to her sarcasm.

"That must have been quite rough, then." Snickering, Mihan opened the door to the conference room for Jalela. "Still, be careful. You shouldn't trust the white men. They're all pretty twisted."

"…" Jalela wondered how Mihan had come to this conclusion, but she couldn't help thinking he might be right. How well did she know this Timothy? Not well at all, and realizing this only made her curiosity grow. And so during her various meetings, her thoughts were wrapped up in her encounter with the translator and how she could talk to him again.


	7. Chapter 7: Clearing of the Fog

Chapter 7: Clearing of the Fog

Memo: Oh gosh why does this title sound like a Persona 4 reference? It's not, I promise. I meant it to go along with the chapter content OTL Anyway, I can't believe this is almost over… I'm happy and sad at the same time, but more than anything, I'm excited for you all to read the conclusion because it's going to be really cool w

To her surprise and delight, Jalela was able to easily meet Timothy again several times after their first encounter. Because he was the lead translator, he sat in on any meetings that involved the white men, which was most of them. During more formal meals he also was there, sitting near Captain Rould. Jalela noted that he rarely looked as though he enjoyed being with the Captain.

"He's quite pompous, in case you couldn't tell," Timothy told her one day during a formal luncheon. "The white men that you and your people have come to hate…he is the perfect example of one."

"Hiranna seems to get along with him decently," Jalela noted, glad that she could speak in her dialect with Timothy. Only Nita would be able to understand them, and she told Nita nearly everything anyway. Though it shouldn't have mattered…but it was something Jalela couldn't help but pay due notice to. She liked having this bond with him, even if it was small and arguably insignificant.

"Why do you think that is, Princess? He has to, of course." Timothy frowned. "Hiranna is a powerful prince, but he is no match for Captain Rould. Everyone knows."

"Then why continue with these games?" she wondered out loud.

"Because that is how Westerners play with politics. You're quite bright to have realized how fake it really is."

Shying away a bit, Jalela felt her face grow hot a bit. For once, she was grateful for her dark skin so that no one could see her blushing. Still, she felt that someone might be watching, and she felt timid and hesitant at the thought.

As the days in Calcutta passed, Jalela came to realize how her feelings for Timothy were changing and growing. She felt as though it was inevitable, almost natural. But this only made the fact that she would soon marry Hiranna even more painful.

One evening, as she sat with Nita, Jalela began to talk about a conversation she had previously had with Timothy earlier that day.

"Enough," Nita said suddenly, and Jalela stopped mid-sentence. With that one word, she had said enough for the princess to understand that her feelings for Timothy had become transparent. Luckily, it was only Nita, and Jalela felt no need to become defensive.

"I'm sorry," Jalela whispered, taken aback. Lowering her head, she closed her eyes, trying to hold back tears. "I'm sorry but I'm not sorry, Nita. I'm not at all."

Before Nita could reply, Jalela burst into tears. She felt rather childish, but she couldn't hold it back anymore. Nita was the only one she could ever show these raw feelings to, anyway.

"Jalela, you are not a child anymore," Nita said quietly as Jalela sobbed into her knees. Still, the servant put her arms around the princess, holding her close.

"I know, and that's what makes this even more difficult." Jalela spoke through her tears with a surprisingly strong voice. "I know I must marry Hiranna. I cannot avoid it as my destiny. But I've found something I want, and I can't have it. I don't even know why I want it, but I do, sincerely."

The two women stayed like that a while, until Nita finally convinced Jalela to go to bed. With no other option, Jalela agreed, and she returned to her room on her own.

"Wandering about, are you?"

Timothy's voice had now become unmistakable to Jalela, and she didn't even have to confirm his identity. Still, she turned to greet him anyway.

"Are you all right?" he asked, tilting his head in confusion. His turquoise eyes wandered her face. "You look awful."

Normally, at such a blunt statement, Jalela's sharp tongue would have fired back, but she was emotionally spent. It took a great deal of self-control to look at him without crying again. She could only shake her head.

"Really, what's the matter? Did something happen?"

"Do you really think it's that easy?" she said in a whisper, pursing her lips. "Do you think you can just jump in and fix my life?"

"No, of course not. But I-"

"This is _your_ fault." Jalela turned away from him, but he caught her arm.

"Do you mind explaining to me what 'this' is?" Timothy said. "If I am truly at fault for something, I'd at _least_ like to know what I've done."

"I…" Jalela slowly relaxed her arm, and Timothy released her.

"Don't tell me…you…"

"…I just…"

"…We really should stop just throwing around pronouns."

A small smile crossed Jalela's lips, but it fled just as quickly. Quietly, she faced Timothy, making herself look him in the eyes.

"Is this the first time you've fallen in love?" he asked her suddenly, and she literally jumped in response. "Am I correct?"

"How…?" Timothy scratched the back of his neck as if embarrassed.

"Because I would be lying if I said the feelings weren't mutual."

"…I…"

_I have things I want to say to you,_ Jalela realized, her heart pounding in her throat. _But I don't know how to say them_. Is _this love_?

"There you go with the pronouns again…" Timothy chuckled, slowly shaking his head. "Maybe it would be best if we distanced ourselves from-"

"No," Jalela said quickly. "No, please. I know that's what we _should_ do, but I don't… I don't want that at all."

"You really are quite a princess-only doing what she wants."

"Oh stop."

The two smiled at each other, but their smiles quickly faded.

_It's like being in a dream when I'm with him_, she thought, staring into Timothy's eyes. _And I don't want to wake up if I don't have to… What am I doing_?!

"But the prince…" Timothy said quietly. "You…still plan to marry him, then."

"I must," Jalela replied, so confident that it pained her. "I really don't have a choice."

"Then this can't last."

Pursing his lips, Timothy took a step back from Jalela, who took a step forward without realizing it. Slowly, she stepped back as well, but upon doing so, somewhere deep inside she felt the urge to scream.

"Good night, Princess," Timothy said quietly, and he bowed, then walked away.

Unable to say another word, Jalela quickly retreated to her room. Once the door behind her closed, she burst into tears once again. She collapsed into her bed, muffling her sobs with her pillow. Eventually, after settling down, she drifted into a fitful sleep.

_ "I think…it's my turn to ask you a tough question." The young man looked at the blonde sitting next to him, and she stared back, tilting her head inquisitively._

_ "Oh? And that would be?" _

_ "Do you love me?"_

_ The girl went without answering for a while; she seemed shocked and at a general loss for words. After thinking a while, she finally replied. _

_ "I …don't know," she admitted, her voice noticeably weak. "Why are you asking me?"_

_ "Because I was curious as to what you would say," the young man replied in a quiet, honest voice._

_ "To be honest… I've never really thought about it." The girl hugged her knees to her chest, frowning. "Even though you're always with me, it seems, I haven't given it much thought. I just…it feels natural to have you around, and I would feel empty without you here."_

Jalela awoke the next morning with a headache. Her jaw was sore; she had been clenching her teeth for probably most of the night. But how could she help herself? Her dreams were as painful as her reality.

_Those two people…were in love_, she thought, sitting up slowly in her bed. _It would be obvious to anyone who looked at them together like that. So why couldn't that girl admit it_?

Chuckling at the irony, Jalela slowly shook her head, kicking the blankets off of her legs.

_She's just like me-she can't say how she feels_.

Getting out of bed, Jalela walked over to her vanity. Looking at her reflection, she was startled at the face of the blonde girl from her dreams staring back at her.

"Again!?" Jalela gasped as her reflection went back to normal after simply blinking. "This can't be coincidence…"

Lowering her eyes, Jalela tried to think back to Pramiti's words. That night seemed distant now, but she had not forgotten either meeting.

_She had told me that the answers were within me_, Jalela recalled. _Also, she had said that there was something I needed to learn. Have I learned it yet? I'm not so sure that I have_.

Frustrated, Jalela began to pace the length of her room, wrapped up in her thoughts.

_What else happened…? Ah, I shouted at her. And then…I called her a…what was it? I called her a 'wanker'… I don't even know what that word means_.

And so, later that day during the break between meetings, Jalela quietly approached Timothy. He seemed happy to see her at first, but his smile was also pained. She wondered if she looked the same way; she certainly felt it.

"Timothy, you know several languages, don't you?" she asked, kneeling beside him.

"Yes… Why?" He seemed surprised that she was actually asking him a question related to his work. She wouldn't have expected it, either.

"Do you know what the word 'wanker' means?"

At her question, Timothy's eyes widened, and he seemed as though his breath had caught in his throat.

"E-Excuse me?" Jalela opened her mouth to speak again. "No, no, don't say it again. I heard you."

"So you've heard of it?"

"Yes, of course I have. But how have _you_?" Timothy let out a frustrated sigh. "Don't tell me you've picked it up from the Englishmen here."

"No, I didn't," Jalela assured him. "But are you telling me it's an English phrase?"

"Yes, it's new slang in Britain."

Jalela took this statement in, thinking hard.

"Why do you ask?" Timothy added, but Jalela did not hear him. Instead, she quietly thanked him and returned to Hiranna's side.

_I know a random word from British slang… The girl in my dream is white, and I keep seeing her face… I can only assume she and I are connected. If that's so, she might be English as well, _Jalela concluded. _So that boy is_…?

Before she could think more about it, the next meeting began, and Jalela's attention was diverted to the politics of her people.


	8. Chapter 8: Only Just the Prologue

Chapter 8: Only Just the Prologue

Memo: Well…in a way, I guess it is. XD Gosh, it's so close to the end. How did this even happen…? I feel a little sad, not gonna lie… Planning this one was a really fun experience for me… 3

Countless days passed faster than Jalela had anticipated. There was much work to be done in Calcutta, and so much of it was stressful. During this time, she came to know the area better, and after a while, she even felt at home walking through the streets. She also got to know Hiranna and his family better, and she could appreciate him for a brave and intelligent young man. Marrying him would definitely be a solid move politically.

And yet, despite her strengthened admiration for Hiranna, her longing and need to be with Timothy grew as well.

Jalela appreciated Hiranna, she respected him…but she did not love him. She was never asked to love him, so she never felt as though it was required. Hiranna seemed to understand as much as her that this marriage was mostly political.

_Perhaps Hiranna has someone else that he loves, too_, Jalela wondered one day, staring up at her husband-to-be. _What a cruel fate to be bound to. …Thinking you have all of this freedom, when in reality you're as trapped as a child or a servant_…_or a woman_.

Of course, Jalela became busier as the days went on and the date of her wedding drew closer. She was able to meet with Timothy less and less, and the pain in her heart seemed to grow more and more as a result.

_We must connected, all of it,_ Jalela decided. _Timothy, and my dreams…even Pramiti and the others. But what is the key? How are we connected_?

Despite reaching several new conclusions about the couple in her dreams, Jalela still did not know exactly why these dreams had begun in the first place, or why these specific people were tied to her. However, she _had_ realized a few things.

First, Jalela had concluded that the couple from her dreams seemed to be parallel to Timothy and her situation with him. Though the dream couple did not always talk, when they did, their conversations seemed very familiar, and there seemed to be a quiet tension present in the talks. That same tension was also present between Timothy and Jalela, but it was not related to the fact that they were being observed in a public setting.

Second, the girl was likely English. Jalela didn't want to assume about the boy just yet; she honestly couldn't tell anything aside from the fact that he was white. However, the girl was most definitely English.

Third, Jalela was directly tied to this girl somehow. There was simply no other explanation for all of the strange dreams, not to mention being able to hear her thoughts exclusively, as well as seeing her face in the mirror some mornings. How or why they were connected, Jalela had yet to determine, but she knew that was the next step.

However, she did not have any leads as to how to find that next step, and so the days passed. The date of Hiranna and Jalela's wedding drew closer, and Jalela's feelings for Timothy did not die. If anything, they burned more fiercely, as if irritated by the fact that they could not be fulfilled.

As expected, the night before the wedding was spent in festivities. Despite the political turmoil, the palace came to life with celebration. Leaders from far and wide all over India had come to give their blessings and well-wishes to Hiranna and Jalela. While she accepted each one with genuine gratitude, a lingering sting of protest stayed in Jalela's heart as she greeted the guests again and again.

_I've never regretted being a princess until this day_, she thought, faking a smile as some random couple congratulated her. _I never wanted this_.

Still, there was no escape anymore. Many of the pre-wedding rituals were done, and the next day was her wedding ceremony. She wanted to run, to get away, but even more than that, she felt as though she _must_ stay, if only for her people.

When Jalela returned to her room that night, though, there was no hiding her disappointment, and there was no reason to hold back her tears. She was reduced to her true self: a sobbing, sniveling teenager who wanted nothing more than to run from the future that had been chosen for her.

At some point in the night, she finally drifted off to sleep, thoughts of the next day looming in her mind. She felt utterly helpless; time was continuing on without her consent. There was no avoiding the truth…

_"Are you happy?" the girl asked her beau as he quietly strummed on his guitar._

_ "What do you mean?" he replied, glancing up at her. _

_ "Are you happy?" she repeated. _

_ "Right now? Yeah. With you? Yeah." He paused, looking out at the fading sunlight. "I'm not really unhappy with anything right now-at least, regarding things that are within my field of control. Are you…?"_

_ "No," she answered, smiling at him. A gentle breeze passed through, and she turned to face it. "I'm happy, too. I just wondered."_

_ "Why?"_

_ "I don't know. I felt like I had to ask."_

_ The young man let out a quiet laugh. "You're so weird."_

_ "You wouldn't understand," she shot back, a hint of sarcasm in her voice. They both fell quiet. "Sorry." She sighed, shaking her head. "I just don't quite understand what you're so afraid of."_

_ "I don't understand, either, if that makes you feel any better," he told her. _

_ "Are you afraid of dying?" she then asked. _

_ "Of course. Don't tell me you aren't?"_

_ "Of course I am. But probably not as much as you."_

_ "What's that supposed to mean?" the boy scoffed, setting his guitar down. _

_ "I don't say that to make myself sound better than you," she added, shaking her head. "I just mean that, well, I don't think dying is necessarily the end of everything."_

_ "Elaborate?"_

_ "Surely when we die, we go somewhere? Maybe Heaven or Hell, or what is it called-Nirvana? Or perhaps we just keep living on somewhere else."_

_ "Do you mean like reincarnation?" The boy chuckled. "I thought Catholics didn't believe in that kind of thing."_

_ "I told you my family is Catholic. I never said I was."_

_ "That I understand." _

_ "But if that's so, I do wonder what kind of person I was," the girl murmured, looking out at the starry sky. "I wonder if I was happy then, too."_

_ "I don't know the rules."_

_ "I don't, either."_

_ They stayed quiet for a while until the girl spoke again. _

_ "So if you don't believe in a life after this, what do you think will happen when you die?" she asked, looking at the boy while pulling her knees to her chest. _

_ "Well, first I'll be free of all of these complicated questions," he teased her, grinning broadly, to which the girl rolled her eyes in response. "But in all seriousness, I'm not so sure. Maybe…" When he paused, the girl made a noise to urge him to speak. "…Maybe each of us are born with a specific purpose, you know? For instance, maybe my purpose in life is to be the greatest chef in the world."_

_ The girl giggled, but the boy shushed her, albeit a bit playfully._

_ "No, no, just let me finish," he insisted. "Say that's my life purpose. But what if, on my first try, I don't do it? What if I don't ever learn how to cook? Then in my next life, maybe I'm reborn as someone else more able to do so. And maybe that keeps repeating until, finally, I reach my goal. I become the greatest chef in the world, and then I die. And then…" He paused, looking out at the black waves. "And then I guess it's done."_

_ "No Heaven?"_

_ "Maybe?"_

_ The girl hummed a low note._

_ "If you're right, I must be failing miserably," she then admitted, laughing darkly. "I have no idea what my purpose in life could possibly be. Besides what I can see in front of me, I feel as though I'm totally useless and can't achieve anything outside my realm of creativity, which is rather small, as you know."_

_ "Some people may not even realize that much about themselves," the boy pointed out. "I know I'm the same way. Like what you just said, I see what's in front of me. But it's because the future…scares me. It always has."_

_ "The future doesn't _scare _me… What's the word I'm looking for…? It's…" The girl paused in thought. "…It requires so much of my effort. It's tedious."_

_ The boy let out a laugh. "You and your apathy."_

_ "Oh, don't give me that. You're just as bad." The girl breathed a sigh. "But really, to me it's just such a mess, and I'd rather not be bothered with it. The things I can wait on, I'll wait on."_

_ "The future's not necessarily guaranteed, either, though," he pointed out. _

_ "That's true, but even if I die, surely there's something after that?"_

_ "But you don't know for sure."_

_ "No, I don't. But I'm willing to risk it."_

The dream had not ended dramatically, but Jalela woke abruptly anyway. It wasn't the dream's mood that jolted her back to real time, but the content that had presented itself to her. Like a blessing from some holy place, the answer was now clear.

_Reincarnation-why didn't I think of this before?_ Despite the fact that it was pitch black outside, Jalela got out of bed and began to pace her room once again. _Yes, what that boy said was true-we must all be born with a purpose, but it doesn't end if we don't fulfill it. We can still keep trying. Maybe someday there will be an ending point, but if that purpose is realized…_

Sighing through her nose, Jalela stopped mid-step.

_So am I the reincarnation of that girl? That _does _explain our connection, but…if what they said was true, we have a purpose…and I don't know what that is yet_.

Exhausted, Jalela sat down on her bed. Slowly she laid herself back down, and within seconds she fell back to sleep.

_ "I think…it's my turn to ask you a tough question." The young man looked at the blonde sitting next to him, and she stared back, tilting her head inquisitively._

_ "Oh? And that would be?" _

_ "Do you love me?"_

_ The girl went without answering for a while; she seemed shocked and at a general loss for words (then again, who wouldn't be?). After thinking a while, she finally replied. _

_ "I …don't know," she admitted, her voice noticeably weak. "Why are you asking me?"_

_ "Because I was curious as to what you would say," the young man replied in a quiet, honest voice._

_ "To be honest… I've never really thought about it." The girl hugged her knees to her chest, frowning. "Even though you're always with me, it seems, I haven't given it much thought. I just…it feels natural to have you around, and I would feel empty without you here."_

_ The girl stopped, blushing hard. The boy didn't say anything for a while, either._

_ "Do you love me?" she asked him suddenly._

_ "…Honestly, Lillian, I'm still trying to figure out what the hell 'love' is," the boy replied, laughing quietly. "But…if it's what I think it is, then yes. I do love you." _

_ For some reason, Jalela could feel this girl's pain. The urge to scream, to say what she felt without holding back… She knew what that was like. _

What am I even saying?! _Jalela heard Lillian say, but only as a raging thought. _I do SO love him. But, as per usual, it seems I can't find the right words to say. Maybe when I'm not so sleep-drunk, I'll know what to say…

_Lightning flashed, and soon the scene changed. Lillian was falling through the ocean, and her grip on her beau slipped. The two slowly drifted apart, surrounded by water and their own blood. _

No, wait. Come back. I never told him.

_Ymed…?_

_ The name rang clear in Jalela's head, and she saw the black-haired boy clearly. His eyes…were the loveliest shade of turquoise. And then Lillian was there, standing by his side, her brown eyes serious. Before Jalela's very eyes, their faces and bodies changed-again and again, into all kinds of different people. The only constant was their eyes. And finally, the changing stopped, and the people left standing there were none other than herself and Timothy._

Again, Jalela awoke with a start, tears streaming down her face.

_I was wrong_, she realized, throwing the covers off of her legs. _Lillian is not who I was-she is who I will become. She is the one who will say the things I can't say now. My purpose…I know what I must do_!

Without any further hesitation, Jalela wrapped a robe around herself quickly, then quietly opened her bedroom door. Closing it and locking it behind her, she dashed out of the palace and into the morning air. There was just one person she needed to find, and she only had so much time to do so.


	9. Chapter 9: Kurikaesu--END

Chapter 9: Kurikaesu

Memo: WOW wow owoweroajfksdlgha? ACK this is the last chapter already?! I just don't evne know jflksa;g?! GjsGLDSAHGL. Sorry. Anyway, the title means "to repeat over and over" in Japanese, and I think that fits. ;D Thank you so much for reading this. I really have enjoyed planning it and writing it. Honestly, it means so much to me when you read my things. Thank you again and again! -Emi Hikari

Jalela knew that either luck or the gods were on her side as she stepped into the palace garden unnoticed. She was looking for only one person, and though she knew she might not find him here, she had to try. And yet, even if she did find him here, she would have to continue to look for him again and again. Now she understood-this was reality for them both.

_Yes, someone is most definitely smiling down on me_, she thought as she rounded a corner to see the young man sitting on a bench. He appeared to be reading a small book, perhaps a Bible. Regardless, he was absorbed in thought, and he did not look up until Jalela was rather close. His turquoise eyes widened a bit; she was obviously not someone he was expecting to see at this hour.

"Princess?!" Timothy gasped, closing his book. He was not bothering to hide his disbelief. "What in the world are you doing here?"

"Timothy, there is something I have to tell you," Jalela stated, her voice clear and confident. "But… In this life, I cannot properly say it. Though…I think you already know what it is…"

Glancing away, Timothy's face reddened a bit as he ran a hand through his blonde hair. Jalela, too, could feel her ears grow hot; she would usually not be this frank, but there was no time for guessing games.

"You say, 'in this life,' implying that you think we can meet again after we die?" he asked, looking back up at the princess. She nodded, still confident. "But what if we never meet again?"

"You must trust me when I say that we will." Jalela kept her eyes locked with his as Timothy slowly stood. "You might not believe me, but this is not our only existence together. We are going to meet many times after this day, even beyond this lifetime. That's why…we should not be sad or disappointed…"

She said the last line more to herself than to him. She still had chances. She still had a future. Lillian and Ymed…those two would be the ones who could fulfill this destiny. Though Jalela had seen them die in her dreams, she still believed it with all of her heart.

"Today I will marry Hiranna," she said, continuing her declaration. "Today we will be forced apart. And so the things I want to tell you…I cannot, because if I did, they wouldn't mean anything. But please, know that it is not permanent. Someday…we will be able to say what we want to each other, as freely as we want. After all…this is what we are meant to do, even if we cannot accomplish it now…"

"Jalela…"

Jalela's throat closed up a bit. Timothy rarely called her by her name, but when he did, it made her heart race. She would never forget this feeling, no matter how much time passed.

"There's something I must tell you, something I have come to realize: in this life, we have been torn apart. But I truly believe this is not our last chance. So…will you…" Jalela looked up at Timothy, tears threatening to spill from her eyes. "Promise me we'll meet again?"

To her surprise and joy, Timothy's face broke into a smile.

"Of course," he told her. "One day, we will meet again. This I swear to you, Princess."

"I…look forward to that day very much."

Gently, Timothy took Jalela's hand in his, lacing his fingers with hers. She smiled up at him, unable to hold back her tears any longer. As his face became blurry, she opened her mouth to speak once again.

"I swear to you, Timothy-one day I will be able to freely express my love for you," she promised, blinking to clear her vision. Timothy stood smiling at her still, but there were tears upon his cheeks as well.

_Yes,_ Jalela realized, her smile brightening. _One day, we will meet again, and I will be able to say what I want to him. I will be able to fulfill my purpose_.

"I swear this upon my very life…" Jalela slowly let go of Timothy's hand, and he reluctantly released his grip. "Goodbye, Timothy. I won't let you down."

"I'll be waiting," he told her, smiling one last time.

Closing her eyes, Jalela turned around and ran back to her room inside the palace walls. She kept that smiling face, that beautiful expression of love, in her mind as long as she could. She did what she could to burn that image in her mind, in order to keep it with her for as long as possible.

_Someday… _she thought, wiping her tear-stained cheeks. _I'll be waiting, too_.

The sound of the surf was comforting, and the feeling of sand beneath her body was enticing. But it was the fact that she could breathe and feel that was the real miracle.

Slowly, dazed as dazed could be, Lillian opened her eyes. Her vision came into focus, revealing a familiar beach and an even more familiar skyline.

_Is this_…?

Despite how heavy her body felt, Lillian forced herself to move. Pulling her arms underneath her chest, she pushed against the sand. Though it shifted beneath her weight, she managed to make herself sit up. For some reason, she was soaking wet. And for some other reason, she felt older.

_Where…is this?_ she wondered, looking straight ahead. _Is this really where I think it is_?

Her eyes did not lie; the scenery before her was none other than that of Calcutta, India. And it was not just any place in Calcutta, but a beach-the beloved shoreline she had spent many hours relaxing and playing on. Both during this lifetime, and-

"…!"

In the blink of an eye, memories of her past lives came rushing at her, and the blonde put a hand to her head to steady herself. It felt as though she was whirling. One thought finally came to the forefront: she had not been alone.

Though she was still dazed and a bit dizzy, Lillian whirled her head around. There, on her right side and just a few feet away, was a young man lying motionless on the sand. His black hair was the only thing moving, ruffled by the gentle summer breeze.

"…Ymed!"

The name escaped her lips naturally, and she shouted it once more. Crawling over to the person, she put a hand on his shoulder, shaking him gently.

"Can you hear me? Ymed, wake up!" she shouted again and again.

Just when she thought it might be too good to be true, the young man jolted under her hand, as if just awakening from a bad dream.

_That's certainly what it feels like_, Lillian thought as Ymed slowly lifted his face from the sand. _But it was more than that, much more. I wonder, does he remember…_?

Looking around, Ymed slowly sat up just as Lillian had minutes before. It appeared that he, too, had aged. The second his eyes locked with Lillian's, he seemed to recognize that something had happened. A look of realization crossed his face, and Lillian knew then that he, too, remembered.

"I love you," Lillian said quietly. But though her voice was low, her gaze was steady. "It took a while, and we almost ran out of chances. But I can say it now. I love you."

Ymed stared at her for a moment, his face such a mix of emotion that Lillian could only imagine how _she_ must have looked to _him_.

"Lillian…I love you, too," he told her, and a small smile appeared on his face at last. "We…waited a while for this, haven't we, Princess?"

Lillian couldn't help but laugh, her heart felt so light and free. Though that nickname didn't seem to suit her present self, it still felt natural, and to say she appreciated the gesture was an understatement.

"Yeah, we did, didn't we?" Her face fell a bit, and her throat closed. "I'm sorry."

"It doesn't matter anymore," Ymed told her, putting a hand on her head endearingly. "We're here…we were able to return to our true selves."

"Like we knew we would."

"Yeah."

The two smiled at each other, and in that moment, they could only feel happiness and love.

Of course, life is not always so simple. Finding the purpose to which we are each born is a special task that only we can discover. If you are afraid, you are not alone. However, being afraid is not an excuse to give up. Never give up.

"I don't really think there's going to be anything worth catching today," Lillian said with a sigh. She tilted her face to the morning sun, smiling. "Should we try something else?"

"Yeah, let's call it quits on this whole fishing thing for the day," Ymed replied, looking over his shoulder at Lillian, who nodded. "Say, there's supposed to be a festival tonight at the bazaar."

"Let's go," Lillian responded without hesitation.

Never give up; this was something Lillian and Ymed both had needed to discover. If you get frustrated easily, don't quit. If you are afraid, keep going. Both will make you stronger.

_Not everyone is as lucky as us, I suppose_, Lillian thought as she helped Ymed row their boat back to shore. _Even though it's been years, we still got to come back. We got one last chance. Not everyone gets a last minute chance. What if we hadn't? Where would we be right now? Because of apathy…because of fear…we almost wasted an eternity of struggling because of our own selfishness_. Lillian pursed her lips. _I refuse to live like that anymore_.

"All right, I'll tie 'er up here," Ymed told Lillian as she stepped onto the dock. "You can take the stuff back."

"Got it," she said, nodding. As Ymed handed her the supplies, she added, "Are you happy?"

"Yes," Ymed answered without hesitation. "I am."

Lillian grinned. "Me too."

"Even though I'm making you do the dirty work?"

"Yes. I figure I've been through worse."

Winking, Lillian turned on her heels and walked back toward their house.

_Yes, I will live looking forward from now on_, she told herself, smiling. _It's what I was meant to do._

END


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